I put a link to this post last month. I wrote it for a friend’s blog as part of a series on marriage. If you haven’t already, you can click on this link here to read the rest of the posts in this series as well as some other fantastic posts.
This week I met someone who told me that they’d read this post and shortly after reading it they’d had a disagreement/argument with their spouse. He told me that they’d made a decision to come before God in worship and prayer as I’d outlined in the post.
So I thought I’d put the post up in full on this blog, in case it’s helpful to anyone else. For those of us that are married, we will have arguments with our spouse and many of us will have times where we wonder if we can keep going. If we haven’t already, we will come to the end of our own resources, our own patience and our own love. God wants our marriages to be strong, deep and rooted in Him – He’s our Source.
I remember the precise moment when it clicked. The penny dropped. The scales fell from my eyes.
We’d argued. Not one of those slightly- raised- voice type of disagreements. But one of those red-raw, swollen eyed, puffy cheeked, soul-wrenching arguments.
There was no quick-fix, no easy answers, no forgiveness. And we were stuck.
And so, with resistance, we made a decision. We’d exalt our God. Together.
Sat on separate sofas, with chilled air, the worship music played. At first we just listened, an impervious audience– it was all we could muster. And Holy Spirit thawing came and slowly, slowly, our offerings of praise were softly whispered in our hearts – heard and received by our Father. Our small, sweet sacrifices. Songs sung in our hearts overflowed out of our lips until two broken voices sang one song.
And in that moment, where it was about neither him nor me, it became about Him. Him, author of creation. Him, whose love knows no bounds, no limits, no start, no end. Him, who is without sin and does not count our sins against us. Him, who reached out to us, before we even knew we needed to reach out to Him. Him, who reconciled Himself to us, and asks us to reconcile with each other. Him, who bled and died on a cross that we might stand free in forgiveness. Him, who defeated death that we might live.
It was Him that we met. And as we gave Him our offering, we received so much more.
So much more.
Truth revealed as we met Him who is truth. Lies exposed as light shone. Love poured out without measure. And as we received His love we could give and receive love to each other. As we received His embrace we were able to give and receive the embrace of the other. As we received His forgiveness, we were able to give and receive forgiveness from each other.
And I saw Rich’s heart laid bare. Imperfect, vulnerable, with every pulse beating for Him. And he saw my heart laid bare. Imperfect, vulnerable, with every pulse beating for Him. And in that moment I saw it afresh, true revelation:
Two souls laid bare with One heart; woven together as One before God.
As wedding vows flooded through my mind I remembered how we began this journey:
“All that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”
With those words declared before God we’d become One until death. In Christ we are One. Always. Even in the rawness of our disagreements, in the valley, or on the mountain top – wherever we are on our journey – we were, and are, always One. Joy is no longer my own. It’s Ours. Sorrow is no longer my own. It’s Ours. Victory is no longer my own. It’s Ours. Relationships are no longer my own. They’re Ours.
We walk this Oneness hand-in-hand with Him who makes us One.
He is Our Source: Our God, the three-in-one.