Anna is an amazing wife. She is a constant source of love, joy, challenge and inspiration.
I look to be a husband that nurtures, encourages, speaks potential over and calls out of Anna all whom she is called to be.
I aim to be a husband who loves and honours Anna and gives myself for her and on her behalf. I, with God’s help, look to have Anna’s interests as my marker and want to set a culture in our marriage where we seek to follow God and prefer and serve each other. For me headship is about setting culture – the spiritual, emotional and physical environment of our marriage. Sometimes that is leading from the front, sometimes that is staying silent, sometimes that is stepping back for Anna to lead, sometimes that is encouragement, sometimes that is challenge – it is doing what is Godly in each circumstance or eventuality.
One thing I have always done is to say sorry first. Jesus took the initiative, made relationship possible and came towards us. No matter what the argument, disagreement or dispute I will say sorry first – this is a discipline not always a joy. I do this to set a culture where relationship is valued over being right (or wrong!) and to make a way possible for re-connection.
One thing I have found is that as I love Anna in this way – laying my life down for her – there is a great joy for me as I see Anna take hold of all she is called to be.
It also makes it possible for her to give herself fully to me knowing I have her best interests at heart. It is not a passive or dutifully laying aside of her heart/vision/priorities but looking to give herself to me as I, in turn, am leading in giving myself to her. As she knows I am for her she can prefer me. As she knows I am for her she can hear my encouragement. As she knows I am for her she can receive my challenge.
We are still learning, still walking together but the words of Ephesians give us something to aim for.